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+--- Thread: Peter Kays Universal Truths (/showthread.php?tid=3487)
Peter Kays Universal Truths - R_Y_A_N - 05-30-2007
1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8.) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have
a fire in your back garden.
9) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
10) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
11) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
12) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
13) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy
ball.
14) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
15) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
16) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call
your teacher mum or dad.
17) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at
the first given opportunity.
18.) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
19) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half
way through and then raced against the flush.
20) Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
21) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
22) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
23) You never ever run out of salt.
24) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
25) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
26) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
27) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
28.) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has
had their arm broken by a swan.
29) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
30) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.
31) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece
of wood specifically to stir paint with.
32) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
33) Bricks are horrible to carry.
34) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
35) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting
it in a fruit salad
The scary thing is that 99% of these are true
Peter Kays Universal Truths - PirateRyRy 17 - 05-31-2007
R_Y_A_N Wrote:The scary thing is that 99% of these are true
So out of the 35 statements, which one is only 65% true? :?
Peter Kays Universal Truths - R_Y_A_N - 06-01-2007
28.) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has
had their arm broken by a swan.
Peter Kays Universal Truths - Hitman666 - 06-02-2007
why would anyone be warned about having their arm broken by a swan
Peter Kays Universal Truths - Hitman666 - 06-02-2007
why would anyone be warned about having their arm broken by a swan
Peter Kays Universal Truths - R_Y_A_N - 06-02-2007
Because the wings on a swan have enough force in them to break a mans arm, cant believe youve never heard that.
Peter Kays Universal Truths - TheAirMan - 06-02-2007
RYAN i never head that either...
hock: but note to self.. dont eff wit Swan's..
Peter Kays Universal Truths - Hitman666 - 06-03-2007
pretty sure ive only seen like 1 swan in my life so im not too worried about running into one, but yes triangular cut sandwiches are much better
Peter Kays Universal Truths - TheJMan - 06-12-2007
just carry a gun with you ...
then if u happen to eff off a swan ..
and it comes for ya arm ..
blow the mu**er Fuc1(er away